Barack Obama Rescues Nobel Prize
Should Barack Obama have won the Nobel Peace Prize? My first thoughts are that it was a bit over-the-top, that there seems to be this global conspiracy to turn him into the most lauded man in the world… would the Pope be making him a living Saint next? But then again, the Nobel Prize is decided not by country, nor by ideology. It’s just a committee of people like you and me, (ok, maybe a little different) and who like most people were just so appalled by George’s Bush confrontational stance with the world that Barack Obama with his placating rhetoric to the Muslims, the environmentalists, the anti-nuclear weapon guys, China, etc, seems like a Peaceful sorta guy. Conventional thinking follows that if the most powerful guy in the world is a peaceful man, then the world might just be a less dangerous place. So in terms of his global impact on peace around the world, plus it sounds perfectly justifiable, let’s just give it to Obama. We’ll add to the press release that this maybe help him more in his efforts to secure peace efforts across the world.
Rubbish. Let me give you the Haddock viewpoint.
The ugly truth is that no one really gives a rat’s ass about the Nobel Prizes anymore, it’s just not longer relevant. Most people under 20 don’t even know that you can win the Nobel in Physics and Economics as well as a few others. The last person to win it was Wangari Maathai and although I’m sure she’s a LOVELY lady… the fact it, she’s not marketable. She’s big, she’s loud and she’s African, which puts her out of step of the global mainstream consciousness. Without any prejudice to Ms. Maathai, she doesn’t really fire up the masses who would honestly be more interested by who got booted off American Idol for that week than what she had to say. The Nobel committee must have realized this.
And so they probably looked at the 200 nominees, and figured out that awarding it to the most famous one out of the list would have the entire world talking about Nobel Prizes again… and so they awarded it to Barack Obama. I would have done the same. Thanks to Obama winning, the discussions and chatter will permeate the media and cyberspace in the days to come, if not weeks to come. Holy Shit… Obama just made the Nobel Peace Prize relevant again!
Congratulations President Obama… the Vatican will be calling soon.
Wacky Bar
I went to see a local theatre production called Wacky Bar tonight. The tagline for the show simply read ‘The Lives. The Libations. The Laughter. I thought… life, booze, humour, can’t go wrong right? So I turned up at the new PJ Live Arts Centre at Jaya One in Section 13. It’s a new space for theatre acts and first off, I was not impressed by the seats. They were not plush seats in a stadium configuration that helps midgets see over giants. Normal plastic seats that don’t do well for the sciatica. However, I did bear in mind that such seats would have added a huge cost to setting up the place and local theatre doesn’t really pull in the big volumes so we take what we can get. On the flip side however, I must say I was impressed by the ambiance of the place. It lent that intimacy that I feel is always needed in the smaller theatre productions. Plus, the sound and lighting was quite impressive so I guess that’s what counts.
Now on the play itself. It was fantastic. Kudos to the entire cast and production team for pulling off a truly amazing show. Of course the cast itself read like a who’s who’s of the Malaysian entertainment scene. With that much talent running through the place, I was obviously more pleasantly surprised than wildly shocked at how much I enjoyed myself. Nevertheless, it’s a tour de force by local standards. I’m writing this tonight itself, even before I go to bed, firstly while it’s fresh in my mind, secondly so I can get more people to go watch it and give this bunch of people a full house… and maybe even extra shows?
The Wacky Bar is… a bar. You will find out why it’s named Wacky a few minutes into the show. Essentially, the show explores the sheer cornucopia of male and female interaction, cleverly played out in a bar setting with the bartender playing the common thread linking them all. The structure of the show is a series of skits involving 2 or 3 individuals and the various dramas they seem to get themselves into.
Let’s start with the writing… no less than Maya Tan Abdullah, who cut her teeth in ICT way back in 1999. I don’t know how much playwriting she’s done before, but this was an impressive start. The story in itself is simplistic enough but where she really shines was in the dialogue. To just say it was clever or witty would not do do justice to the exquisite subtlety of her ability to weave complex male-female issues with a liberal sprinkling of local nuances and context at every turn. The mix of language types and various references to what seems familiar to any Malaysian is relevant and has been done in way that me and most audiences would find funny. So on the strength of one of the best and most honest scripts I’ve ever seen in Malaysia… it was the for the actors and actresses to fuck it up.
Did they? No… as I mentioned earlier, star-bloody-studded cast with talent oozing out of each one of them. I’m highly envious of people with artistic talent and therefore can be quite vicious with my comments, but on this night… I was pleasured. You see, good acting is a joy to watch because it doesn’t rankle. Good acting speaks to the masses and this in itself is the raison d’etre of the arts. Anyway, with my programme book in hand, I’ll touch on each one of them. Bear in mind, my comments are from the perspective that I am male and slightly misogynistic. Okay, well rather more than slightly.
Maya Tan Abdullah. A good, if annoying (which I take positively) portrayal of a woman whose had enough of having her man not listen to her. Like I said, the character is annoying so I would probably have ignored her also, but in this case, her boyfriend is played by Rashid Salleh. Now I’ve not seen him much other than on espn but his performance here was pretty awesome but only to the point that his character didn’t allow for more depth. But funny as hell… second only to Iedil Putra. From his bio, I can see that a lot of his previous work with Malay cultural arts kept him out of my narrow horizon… but this guy is fucking brilliant. Oozing sex appeal in his tight pants and gaudy shirts, his performance as a male escort is worth the price of admission itself.
Patrick Teoh… what to say la, it’s Patrick Teoh. He’s the Patrick Stewart of Malaysia… just has to act as himself whether in theatre or Blogger Boy serial on 8TV and it’s going to run the full range of funny from contemptuous to comical. Gavin Yap had a difficult role to play… a lawyer! LOL! Kidding… anyway I can’t imagine it being easy playing that role but his breaking down and seeking solace in Junji Delfino’s crotch was priceless. As was her complex portrayal of an older woman desperately seeking a second wind on her aging vagina. I could feel her discomfort which was sharp acting, a surprise because when she’s the actress in the cast that I knew the least about.
Sharedza Minhat and Megat Sharizal. I had never heard of them. I think that’s going to change. Great comedic timing, and an observant portrayal of your typical urban Malay with the seamless floating in and out of English and Malay. I don’t know whether they actually talk like that in real life, but if not, then their acting skill only seems so much better in my eyes. Their player-wingman thing they did was pitch perfect, having been in those situations myself.
Next up, Shamaine Othman, who I have enjoyed watching since my Pi Mai Pi Mai Tang Tu days. Yes, I used to watch it, and still say it’s one of the funniest sitcoms Malaysia has ever had. Here though, she portrayed a role I was unfamiliar seeing her in… but impressive nonetheless. In her bio in the programme, she likens herself to a Long Island Iced Tea, good at the start and just plain nasty at the end. I have no fuckin’ idea what that means. Joanna Kam Po Po(yes, she’s still around) was… crass as always. But lucky for the audience, the role called for it. So her performance in a nutshell? Well suited. I must say though, her years of making people laugh has left her with brilliant comedic timing. Probably the best amongst all the performers.
Na’a Murad and Ida Mariana play the most complex two-some I have seen in local theatre in a while. In a short space of 10 minutes, they display some of the best purity in stage acting that I’ve seen. Both play compromised individuals, vicious, dirty and mired in the circumstances that has led them to confront almost the worst pain a person can go through. Betrayal. Na’a pulls of this sleazy, Euro-trash type individual with aplomb while Ida delivers the mind-churning performance involving the potent mixture of insecurity, spite, and a desire to feel sexually validated. These 2, and the script, will leave your own thoughts frothy with the raw sexuality, anger and intensity that their performances bring out.
Daphne Iking is beautiful. I’ll admit it, I would slay dragons for her. Here she played a drunk girl. And it was convincing. But was that the limit of her contribution? Oh no… for every performance, film or theatre, needs energy. And Daphne is pure energy. The combination of one of the most fantastic bodies in Malaysia, with languidly fluid movements that had most of the men (and an older relative of mine) in the audience transfixed, was like coloured sprinkles dusted on for candy-effect. But can she act? She lack experience, but in my unbiased (?) opinion, she’s a natural. And *shhh*, but she has sizzle, and that you can’t learn. And *shhh*, she swears convincingly (read: sexy).
Finally, Elaine Pedley is that presence you’ve always seen somewhere but can’t put your finger where. Well, that’s easy, she’s done a lot in our proverbial little live arts pond. In Wacky Bar, she superbly pulled off the type of woman most of us men want to avoid. Which was interesting casting because with her boobs and body, most men wouldn’t want to avoid her. Which is… kinda wacky isn’t it? But then again… that was the genius of this production.
Men and Women interact daily in an emotional and sexual minefield where making a wrong move can tear pieces of you apart. By producing the most daring, uninhibited, and brilliant theatre piece I’ve seen in a while, emotionally and sexually raw, I cannot urge you enough to go see this. I am not a theatre critic, but I know good art, and I especially love art that reaches out to a wide audience… and believe you me, I’m as wide (read: mainstream) as it gets.
Congratulations to all involved. Most importantly and above all else, I completely enjoyed myself.
Next please!
A Perfect Getaway (film)
Every now and then I get bored, and sometimes when I’m bored, I will go for a movie at the cinema. ANY movie… ANY genre… ANY language! But being a fan of the the film medium, I don’t necessarily always feel the need to only watch movies that are excellent! I think there’s something very pleasurable about stepping off this planet for 2 hours into a dark room that is about as removed from reality as one can get… because that’s what cinemas represent to me, an avenue for me to leave the mundanely mind-numbing existence and travel, to paris or the planet vulcan, to the centre of the earth or the centre of your heart, to the deepest recesses of our fantasies or the darkest grottos of our evil cores.
Last night, I travelled to Hawaii, USA. Which was a magically short trip away from the Pavilion Shopping Centre in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.
When I first heard of the movie ‘A Perfect Getaway’, all I found out was that it was about a couple on their honeymoon in Hawaii being stalked by a bunch of killers. Typical! Oh but wait, it had Milla Jovovich. (happy thoughts of red hair and bandage straps across her naughty bits) Can’t be THAT bad a movie right? Besides… like I mentioned earlier, I was bored.
But whoop-tee-tah! I could not have been more wrong. It was excellent! Of course, I didn’t know before I watched the movie that it was written and directed by David Twohy, who did Pitch Black, the show that first introduced the world to Riddick, still Vin Diesl’s best role ever. So there I was with Mr. Megaphone while this movie slowly unfolds. Set in Hawaii as I mentioned earlier, the shots from the air of the lush green foliage was breathtaking, and something I always like in movies. The lead couple are on their honeymoon and have decided while in Hawaii, to visit a remote beach, but it takes several days of hiking to get there. Along the way they meet several other couples and then they learn of this brutal killing of a newly-wed couple 2 days earlier. The rest of the show is a gripping and suspenseful thriller that effectively has you tightly locked in the director’s embrace – Twohy is so skillful as a film director and the writing is so clever, that all movie cliches are incisively woven into the dialogue.
Although this is a semi-review, in the style of Captain Haddock (me) that you will get to know more intimately the more you read this blog, the bottom line is that you really need to see this movie yourself. Don’t Wiki or Google it, don’t bother listening to Rotten Tomatoes who gave it a 55% fresh rating, basically, don’t listen to movie critics who seem to take the word ‘critic’ so darn literally. Listen to me, it’s a cleverly written movie, expertly directed, beautifully shot, excellently acted, tightly edited and well scored. Well worth 2 hours of your time and RM12 bucks.
Finally, Milla Jovovich is fucking sexy. But wait, for you girls out there, Timothy Olyphant and Chris Hemsworth’s bodies will drench you, if you’re into the whole hot body on screen thing. There a scene by a gorgeous waterfall that makes our local waterfalls look like faucets in comparison… and both couples are there with the men topless and the women skinny-dipping. While you can’t see any nudity, use your imagination… and think menage+1! Movies that successfully evoke emotion or any sort of urge have achieved their purpose.
There’s a scene where Milla Jovovich squats down to talk to her husband, and you can hear her take a piss. I’m not in water sports or anything, but I found the whole scene rather sexy. I fear I’m a little compromised. There’s another scene where they camp in the rain, and my imagination is so vivid, that I could feel the cold drops of rainwater running down the back of my shirt as I imagined it.
All in all, I throughly enjoyed the movie. My suggestion is that you take an afternoon off, disappear from your life, and go watch this movie. Think of it as… A Perfect Getaway’. Hey… bad joke I know, but city life can be murderous okay. And if anything, it’s miles better than G-Force, because I’d rather see Milla Jovovich peeing over a bunch of annoying hamsters any day! Hmmm… that didn’t come out right without the comma, but hey what the hell… I’d rather see that too!
I Am Not A Fish
You’re probably wondering what in the blazes is this post going to be about?
Well, I’m very big on word association… so I suddenly looked at the word Haddock, and realized that there’s actually a type of fish called Haddock. I tried finding out what Haddock fish is called in Malay, and got this link from what I can only imagine is the definitive online dictionary for the Malay language.
http://www.kamus.com/eng-indmay/haddock
Yeah… long way more to go Dewan Bahasa dan Pustaka. For those foreigners who wank off while reading my blog, DBP as the acronym goes is our Malaysian national…. hmmm, I don’t really know the English equivalent but they are like the guardians of Malay and defender of the supremacy of the language or some crap like that. The only thing cool about them in my opinion is the top of their building is shaped like an open book. Other than that… their job is to create new words to enrich Malaysia’s national language.
Many people in my country don’t see the importance of English. Yes… they come up with all sorts of excuses on why Malay is more useful to us Malaysians than English. But I say they are stoopid! Imagine you’re an interior designer, graphic designer, architect, etc…. now translate the following words in Malay. Azure, Teal, Ultramarine, Cyan, Navy Blue, Cerulean, Denim, Agate, Turquoise, Indigo and Prussian. In Malay, it would be…. ‘BIRU’. Mayyybe, Biru Muda, (literal=young blue, but=light blue), maybe Biru Tua (literal=old blue, but=dark blue)… Biru Langit (sky)… yeah, that’s about all I know. Very boring home interiors if we ignore English!
So I guess the point is, I’m all for a national language, but for goodness sake… learn ze’ fuckin’ English you clowns, it IS useful… I mean, who even bothers arguing the merits these days? Clowns that is… and while tempting, I’m not singling-out any racial stereotypes here, to be perfectly honest it’s quite consistently a Malaysian thing, especially in the boondocks. Grotesque levels of English.
Oh by the way, I hope those boys at DBP actually read this… I may have just single-handedly contributed to a sudden spike in the Malay language vocabulary! If they haven’t already figured out that the Malay language is a bit lacking in the colour description department. That is… if they read English. LOL! Vicious I am.
Haddock out!
